My son Noah calls me every day as he leaves work to sort of download the day, get things off his chest, tell me about work problems, talk things over. The salient part of that experience for me is to see how important it is to him that he does a good job. He really cares about that. To him, his job is more than just work, it is a vital part of his very existence and to not do it well is anathema to him!
Where did that come from? He has often been asked why he understands so much about management, since he is a chef--and some of them are much more cooking oriented than management oriented. He tells them that he grew up watching his mom run a business, watching his dad work really hard as a salesman, watching his grandparents work really hard running a highly respected medical practice.
Noah grew up around people who loved to work! And he does too.
When he was growing up, he didn't like it so much that we were "always working" because often he wanted attention that he didn't get. I can remember so many times I had to tell him to wait until I got off the phone to talk to me. I wasn't a completely horrible mother--I went to every baseball, soccer and basketball game that I possibly could attend. I carried a folding chair in my trunk so I could go to a game at the drop of a hat.
But there were many things I didn't do because I was working, and I know he didn't like it. But he learned to live with it and became a very independent guy. One of the reasons he became a chef is because he figured out there were some things (like sauteed chicken) that he could prepare much better than I could! He started cooking with me when he was 2 and by the time he was 8 or 9 he was really good in the kitchen.
Now he is proud of his background--with perspective, he sees the value of all that work and how it influenced him. And I have a feeling that his son Ethan will have a similar experience. As long as Noah is the Executive Chef of a very busy, popular restaurant, he will work most Saturdays and Sundays--Ethan won't have his dad at every sporting event. Ethan will probably resent that for a period of time, until it comes time to go to work himself, then I can imagine that Ethan will have a similar work ethic as his father.
So the Legend will live on, and be passed on from generation to generation. My dad's father came to America from Russia around 1907 and first drove a wagon peddling clothes around the countryside. Then he ran clothing stores with his brothers. My dad worked in the stores, and learned how important it was to write up a proper sales slip. Later, he was one of the few doctors whose instructions could be easily read on a chart or a prescription.
Work ethic. Is it dying out? Or is it alive and well? I believe both. Those who didn't have Living Legends to learn from, model themselves after, will either have to learn it on the job or miss out on the fun of a job well done.
As for my little family tree, I bet it will remain alive and well for many generations to come.
Hooray!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Life Entrepreneurs Let Themselves BE
Deciding moments come along many times in our lives, and each one gives us an opportunity to turn one way or another--which then informs and shapes our lives from that moment on. It fascinates me to see people on TV in what are called Reality Shows. I think part of the public's addiction to those is it gives us a window to observe how people deal with those moments--and the consequences they bring.
Last night I watched a woman who had come across as a fighter, a resilient contender just give up and walk away when she could have turned around and shown us another part of herself. Maybe she had more going on in her life than we could see--and maybe she really is a "Quitter" as she was called on the show. I know there have been times in my life when I did turn around and go home, and I actually haven't regretted those decisions.
Being a Life Entrepreneur means we are committed to being AWARE of those moments--not reacting but instead approaching them strategically. That requires a strong sense of self, a deep sense of our own purpose, a willingness to keep moving forward, mindful of what can be termed "the greater good."
In light of that, I've recognized that one of my challenges is to be proactive, aware and ready for whatever comes up while not striving so hard to make things happen. A friend described me as a "human doing" -- sort of the opposite of a "human being." Those of us who are Doers have a difficult time just being here. We get antsy, we look for things that need to be taken care of.
I realize I'm a "recovering Doer" which is not unlike other addictive behaviors that require effort to overcome. I'm not saying I only want to BE--because doing and being are actually part of that famous trinity: BE, DO and HAVE. The point is to not let the doing part be the most important--instead let them all three work together in harmony.
So, what does that look like? For me, it means listening more, commenting less. Observing more, making sure I take in as much information as possible before I make up a story about what is going on. Watching squirrels run around. Waiting. Being okay with not knowing things. Asking more questions. Feeling grateful--finding more and more things, people, situations to be grateful for. Appreciating the fact that I'm alive. Appreciating what it means to be alive. Loving trees, flowers, grass, weeds, rolling hills, mesas, mountains, rivers, oceans, lakes, clouds, sunshine, moonlight, dark moments, uncertainty, challenges, opportunities.
I know, those are combinations of being, doing and having--and if I let myself be comfortable about just being here and noticing all this, then I have a greater chance of living from within-out, strategic in my daily life, living purposefully, while being adaptable and flexible. Two really important people in my life are showing me the way, the path of this:
My darling grandson who is 2 and my beautiful mother who is 86. They both seem to wake up each day just glad to be here. My grandson doesn't have enough history to compare his life with anything else, so he just lives it. My mother has seen so much of life that she has whittled it down to what is really important to her and she lets the rest go.
So they show up as delightful, engaged people who have very little to worry about, more interested in the right now of life--not what was or could be. Thank goodness I have them to learn from. And truly, they are the MOST fun people to be around!
Love that.
Last night I watched a woman who had come across as a fighter, a resilient contender just give up and walk away when she could have turned around and shown us another part of herself. Maybe she had more going on in her life than we could see--and maybe she really is a "Quitter" as she was called on the show. I know there have been times in my life when I did turn around and go home, and I actually haven't regretted those decisions.
Being a Life Entrepreneur means we are committed to being AWARE of those moments--not reacting but instead approaching them strategically. That requires a strong sense of self, a deep sense of our own purpose, a willingness to keep moving forward, mindful of what can be termed "the greater good."
In light of that, I've recognized that one of my challenges is to be proactive, aware and ready for whatever comes up while not striving so hard to make things happen. A friend described me as a "human doing" -- sort of the opposite of a "human being." Those of us who are Doers have a difficult time just being here. We get antsy, we look for things that need to be taken care of.
I realize I'm a "recovering Doer" which is not unlike other addictive behaviors that require effort to overcome. I'm not saying I only want to BE--because doing and being are actually part of that famous trinity: BE, DO and HAVE. The point is to not let the doing part be the most important--instead let them all three work together in harmony.
So, what does that look like? For me, it means listening more, commenting less. Observing more, making sure I take in as much information as possible before I make up a story about what is going on. Watching squirrels run around. Waiting. Being okay with not knowing things. Asking more questions. Feeling grateful--finding more and more things, people, situations to be grateful for. Appreciating the fact that I'm alive. Appreciating what it means to be alive. Loving trees, flowers, grass, weeds, rolling hills, mesas, mountains, rivers, oceans, lakes, clouds, sunshine, moonlight, dark moments, uncertainty, challenges, opportunities.
I know, those are combinations of being, doing and having--and if I let myself be comfortable about just being here and noticing all this, then I have a greater chance of living from within-out, strategic in my daily life, living purposefully, while being adaptable and flexible. Two really important people in my life are showing me the way, the path of this:
My darling grandson who is 2 and my beautiful mother who is 86. They both seem to wake up each day just glad to be here. My grandson doesn't have enough history to compare his life with anything else, so he just lives it. My mother has seen so much of life that she has whittled it down to what is really important to her and she lets the rest go.
So they show up as delightful, engaged people who have very little to worry about, more interested in the right now of life--not what was or could be. Thank goodness I have them to learn from. And truly, they are the MOST fun people to be around!
Love that.
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