Last week I wrote about inviting my friends to send me their comments and letting me start expanding my blog. I was in Houston on Friday, visiting with Elizabeth Stone of The Stone Kitchen, encouraging her to write her own blog to support her new cookbook (that she already has a contract to publish!) and so she sent me the following sample.
My notion is that we're all Life Entrepreneurs--we all have something unique and special to share with the world. Here's what Liz wrote about her struggle to get her cookbook completed:
“No Stone Left Unturned” by Elizabeth Stone
Today is Saturday March 20, 2010
Writing a book is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have catered over 15,000 events over the last 20 years. I have catered with no water, no electricity for hundreds of people in some very strange locations. None of it, not even when I couldn’t make the payroll or when I was worried about the lights being cut off for lack of cash flow, has been as difficult as writing this book.
What’s the big deal? Why is it so hard to get the words on a page. I am writing about all the experiences and tricks that I have learned over the last 20 years in the catering business. Really or as my niece would say’ “Seriously E, really – you haven’t finished that book.” “Do I need to help you finish it?” My niece is 9 and seems to be ready to write and create and offer advice.
I must have a serious problem - I have self diagnosed myself with something called writer’s block. Has this ever happened to you? What is writer’s block anyway? All of a sudden, you can’t spell or type or think of anything even remotely creative. My motto is I can fix anything with cream and butter. Is that the solution? Add a little cream and butter. Maybe that is really the problem. I have been trying to cut back on fats lately. Why in the world would I do that? Heavens, that has got to be the problem. No butter, no cream, no writing. Hopefully after indulging in some much needed butter and cream, the creativity will come flowing again.
I second that emotion, Elizabeth! Maybe the butter and cream for you is feeling supported and encouraged by those of us who know you and are cheering you on! I can't wait to see the cookbook!
I can certainly empathize with her about how easy it is to get stuck in a blocked place and begin to doubt my creativity and ability. My remedy for it is to talk about it, get help, exercise, and just keep going. What's yours?
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Life Entrepreneurs Turn Disappointments into Opportunities
I just spent one of those amazing weekends that reaffirm the divine order of life. It started out on Friday evening with a deep, painful disappointment. It ended on Sunday evening with a deep, abiding sense that I am on the right path, that I am grateful, that I have so much ahead of me.
I see once again from the experience that I am resilient, able to walk through painful moments, willing to embrace what comes. Those are essential qualities for Life Entrepreneurs.
On Friday evening, someone I felt a deep connection to, that I genuinely cared about, decided not to be my friend anymore. It was a shock to my system--I experienced all the symptoms of shock: numbness, chills, disbelief. It felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, and I couldn't seem to make sense of it. So I got some help, called a few of my friends for support, made it through a fairly sleepless Friday night, then sort of zombied through the day on Saturday. Since I didn't know what to do, I didn't do much of anything.
That afternoon I went to see my mom and we watched some movies together, very comforting, so by the time I came back home, I could feel my body start to relax. That evening I watched TV and kept falling asleep, so I knew something was shifting.
I spoke about it a bit during the day, but sort of gave up trying to understand what happened, because I didn't really think I could at that moment.
Saturday night I slept more, and woke up with a bit more energy, ready to exercise and keep going. After my shower, I actually felt the warmth of gratitude for my friend, understanding more about the decision that was made.
As I was walking through my morning routine, my phone rang. A dear friend from Santa Fe called--she was stuck in DFW because of plane delays to New York and did I want to get together? Not only was I thrilled to hear her voice, but I was also sort of amazed. Janet Schreiber is one of the foremost experts, and has spent years teaching the graduate program at the University of New Mexico, on the subjects of death, grief, loss and trauma. And here she was, dropped into my life so to speak, on the ideal day at the ideal time for me.
Had to be cosmic.
She was glad to join me and my mom for our day of taking care of my grandson. I picked her up and the three of us spent the most delightful time with Ethan--what a lucky baby! Three doting grandmothers all taking turns playing with him, feeding him, marveling at his brilliance and energy. We were all in heaven! Janni and I cooked lunch, Mom watched Ethan, we shared food and great conversation.
After Mom and the baby went home, Janni and I watched a show about Jeff Koons, the artist, we visited about our lives, and gradually got into exploring life in our sixties, the choices we have ahead of us, the challenges of having lived very full, demanding lives and now finding ourselves with space and time to explore new directions, knowing that we still have productive, meaningful work ahead of us. We're just not so sure what it is, what it looks like, how to move forward into it.
She read my blog and encouraged me to keep writing--felt it is very important for women to express their innermost thoughts and share them. Many women are going through similar experiences, and not many are writing about how it feels to be here. Most of the people we know have been deeply affected by the economic crisis, we are all feeling our way along to find ways to cope with reduced retirement resources, how to turn these challenges into opportunities.
I asked her to be a guest blogger--and I hope she will encourage other women to send me their thoughts and ideas. I saw that we could expand what I'm writing into a sort of forum for women to speak. I hadn't ever thought of that before--but it made perfect sense!
And I encouraged her to expand her work, make it more available to the world. Since the death of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, Janni could now take up the mantle of spreading her knowledge of dealing with death, grief, trauma and loss. She is an amazing teacher, a great resource for so many, and we need her shining presence to turn to.
We had such a great time talking, sharing ideas, exploring new directions. Very inspiring. Very encouraging. Very comforting. And I remembered that I have so much more ahead of me. That my disappointments always lead me into new directions, that I cannot possibly suffer a loss without a gain. When I took her back to her hotel, we touched on my experience of sadness, and she encouraged me to see the benefits of it, what I could learn about myself through it, to see how it was just part of my process of growth. What a blessing to have a therapist drop into my life at the exact moment I needed a little counseling! What a blessing to be able to share our strengths with each other!
She loved the concept of being a Life Entrepreneur. It was just the encouragement I needed to keep writing, to keep exploring and to stay open. To not let one sad experience affect me so much that I would close my heart and go back into hiding. I'm staying out in the world. I'm willing to have my heart hurt again. It is worth it to feel this alive and full of possibilities.
I see once again from the experience that I am resilient, able to walk through painful moments, willing to embrace what comes. Those are essential qualities for Life Entrepreneurs.
On Friday evening, someone I felt a deep connection to, that I genuinely cared about, decided not to be my friend anymore. It was a shock to my system--I experienced all the symptoms of shock: numbness, chills, disbelief. It felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, and I couldn't seem to make sense of it. So I got some help, called a few of my friends for support, made it through a fairly sleepless Friday night, then sort of zombied through the day on Saturday. Since I didn't know what to do, I didn't do much of anything.
That afternoon I went to see my mom and we watched some movies together, very comforting, so by the time I came back home, I could feel my body start to relax. That evening I watched TV and kept falling asleep, so I knew something was shifting.
I spoke about it a bit during the day, but sort of gave up trying to understand what happened, because I didn't really think I could at that moment.
Saturday night I slept more, and woke up with a bit more energy, ready to exercise and keep going. After my shower, I actually felt the warmth of gratitude for my friend, understanding more about the decision that was made.
As I was walking through my morning routine, my phone rang. A dear friend from Santa Fe called--she was stuck in DFW because of plane delays to New York and did I want to get together? Not only was I thrilled to hear her voice, but I was also sort of amazed. Janet Schreiber is one of the foremost experts, and has spent years teaching the graduate program at the University of New Mexico, on the subjects of death, grief, loss and trauma. And here she was, dropped into my life so to speak, on the ideal day at the ideal time for me.
Had to be cosmic.
She was glad to join me and my mom for our day of taking care of my grandson. I picked her up and the three of us spent the most delightful time with Ethan--what a lucky baby! Three doting grandmothers all taking turns playing with him, feeding him, marveling at his brilliance and energy. We were all in heaven! Janni and I cooked lunch, Mom watched Ethan, we shared food and great conversation.
After Mom and the baby went home, Janni and I watched a show about Jeff Koons, the artist, we visited about our lives, and gradually got into exploring life in our sixties, the choices we have ahead of us, the challenges of having lived very full, demanding lives and now finding ourselves with space and time to explore new directions, knowing that we still have productive, meaningful work ahead of us. We're just not so sure what it is, what it looks like, how to move forward into it.
She read my blog and encouraged me to keep writing--felt it is very important for women to express their innermost thoughts and share them. Many women are going through similar experiences, and not many are writing about how it feels to be here. Most of the people we know have been deeply affected by the economic crisis, we are all feeling our way along to find ways to cope with reduced retirement resources, how to turn these challenges into opportunities.
I asked her to be a guest blogger--and I hope she will encourage other women to send me their thoughts and ideas. I saw that we could expand what I'm writing into a sort of forum for women to speak. I hadn't ever thought of that before--but it made perfect sense!
And I encouraged her to expand her work, make it more available to the world. Since the death of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, Janni could now take up the mantle of spreading her knowledge of dealing with death, grief, trauma and loss. She is an amazing teacher, a great resource for so many, and we need her shining presence to turn to.
We had such a great time talking, sharing ideas, exploring new directions. Very inspiring. Very encouraging. Very comforting. And I remembered that I have so much more ahead of me. That my disappointments always lead me into new directions, that I cannot possibly suffer a loss without a gain. When I took her back to her hotel, we touched on my experience of sadness, and she encouraged me to see the benefits of it, what I could learn about myself through it, to see how it was just part of my process of growth. What a blessing to have a therapist drop into my life at the exact moment I needed a little counseling! What a blessing to be able to share our strengths with each other!
She loved the concept of being a Life Entrepreneur. It was just the encouragement I needed to keep writing, to keep exploring and to stay open. To not let one sad experience affect me so much that I would close my heart and go back into hiding. I'm staying out in the world. I'm willing to have my heart hurt again. It is worth it to feel this alive and full of possibilities.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Life Entrepreneurs Fall In and Out of Love
I was having my early morning call with my friend Lida today and as I was talking I realized I had made a very big change in my life and only by putting it into words did I see its impact. Almost eleven years ago I discovered the teachings of John Demartini and I can honestly say that I fell in love with studying what he had to offer. I spent the next several years going to classes all over the place--I even took some in Paris and Mexico--although most of them were in the US.
I met amazing, wonderful people along the way. I studied like crazy and got certified to teach his method (now called The Demartini Method) and found that I could take what I learned and apply it easily, and that it helped a lot of people, especially me.
It seemed to synthesize all the other things I had studied over the years. One of the great benefits to running into a lot of life challenges is that it drove me to seek answers, try to find ways to understand and move through some very difficult periods. I was hungry for more, I was willing to do whatever it took to learn and keep growing. It informed my work, and I became a really good business owner, coach, teacher, consultant, combining those teachings with my own experiences and finding ways to really integrate it all together.
Over the last year, I started to feel something different about studying with John. His classes seemed very familiar and I would find my mind wandering. I went to a repeat class of some really interesting material and got sick, as if my body just couldn't absorb any more information. I decided to go to more classes to see how it felt, what I got from them. I still loved the teaching, but I found I didn't love being there. I was easily distracted.
When I faced my big financial crisis last year, I used all the tools I had learned and they helped, but it still took me time to work through my process. I began to embrace that time, to stop beating myself up for not "getting it" sooner, for not finding peace more easily. The difficulty became my teacher. Waking up in a panic was my sign that I was still here, still working, still alive somehow.
Over the last month things have shifted again, and I have found myself getting lightning insights in the middle of being on the floor doing Pilates, or talking with Lida, or reflecting on something someone said. I have been more aware of myself, noticed how I was feeling more easily. I have been a bit of a hermit off and on for the last year or so, but it has been a rich time. I have been very selective about conversations, sharing what I could, when I could, and letting myself wait, and watch, and wonder what would come next.
So this morning, talking with Lida, I realized I'm not in love with being a Demartini student anymore. I love the work, I love that he is out there spreading his message around the globe, I love that new people discover his teachings and fall in love with studying them. I love that I engaged fully in that endeavor.
And I love what it led me to. I love that I am now in love with studying my own life. Being in it. Living it. Finding ways to enjoy it--my family, my friends, my relationships have a deeper meaning to me than ever before. I can sit and watch nature around me and feel that sense of peace that I used to go searching for. I can express my vulnerability and a friend will send me a CD to listen to, one that helps me feel more of myself. I am aware that I am loved.
I fell in love with my own life. I fell in love with myself. I fell in love with my family. I fell in love with my friends. I don't think I would be here, in this place, if I hadn't been so strident, worked so hard all these years to learn from this wonderful teacher, John Demartini. And I hope to continue to stay connected to him and work with him from time to time. And I am deeply grateful that I met him, that I learned from him and that he has modeled to me what it looks like to be so driven and focused, so completely dedicated to his mission.
Now it is time for me to be dedicated to myself. Thanks to all that help, I think I'm up to the task.
I met amazing, wonderful people along the way. I studied like crazy and got certified to teach his method (now called The Demartini Method) and found that I could take what I learned and apply it easily, and that it helped a lot of people, especially me.
It seemed to synthesize all the other things I had studied over the years. One of the great benefits to running into a lot of life challenges is that it drove me to seek answers, try to find ways to understand and move through some very difficult periods. I was hungry for more, I was willing to do whatever it took to learn and keep growing. It informed my work, and I became a really good business owner, coach, teacher, consultant, combining those teachings with my own experiences and finding ways to really integrate it all together.
Over the last year, I started to feel something different about studying with John. His classes seemed very familiar and I would find my mind wandering. I went to a repeat class of some really interesting material and got sick, as if my body just couldn't absorb any more information. I decided to go to more classes to see how it felt, what I got from them. I still loved the teaching, but I found I didn't love being there. I was easily distracted.
When I faced my big financial crisis last year, I used all the tools I had learned and they helped, but it still took me time to work through my process. I began to embrace that time, to stop beating myself up for not "getting it" sooner, for not finding peace more easily. The difficulty became my teacher. Waking up in a panic was my sign that I was still here, still working, still alive somehow.
Over the last month things have shifted again, and I have found myself getting lightning insights in the middle of being on the floor doing Pilates, or talking with Lida, or reflecting on something someone said. I have been more aware of myself, noticed how I was feeling more easily. I have been a bit of a hermit off and on for the last year or so, but it has been a rich time. I have been very selective about conversations, sharing what I could, when I could, and letting myself wait, and watch, and wonder what would come next.
So this morning, talking with Lida, I realized I'm not in love with being a Demartini student anymore. I love the work, I love that he is out there spreading his message around the globe, I love that new people discover his teachings and fall in love with studying them. I love that I engaged fully in that endeavor.
And I love what it led me to. I love that I am now in love with studying my own life. Being in it. Living it. Finding ways to enjoy it--my family, my friends, my relationships have a deeper meaning to me than ever before. I can sit and watch nature around me and feel that sense of peace that I used to go searching for. I can express my vulnerability and a friend will send me a CD to listen to, one that helps me feel more of myself. I am aware that I am loved.
I fell in love with my own life. I fell in love with myself. I fell in love with my family. I fell in love with my friends. I don't think I would be here, in this place, if I hadn't been so strident, worked so hard all these years to learn from this wonderful teacher, John Demartini. And I hope to continue to stay connected to him and work with him from time to time. And I am deeply grateful that I met him, that I learned from him and that he has modeled to me what it looks like to be so driven and focused, so completely dedicated to his mission.
Now it is time for me to be dedicated to myself. Thanks to all that help, I think I'm up to the task.
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