"It's not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but those most responsive to change." This is a quote from Charles Darwin, and I found it striking because we usually think of him in relation to "survival of the fittest" and this statement puts an interesting slant on what is the fittest. I also recall John Demartini saying that the amount of stress we experience is a direct correlation to our ability to adapt to change. The greater the flexibility, the less stress. The greater the rigidity, the more stress.
Being a Life Entrepreneur requires amazing agility. As Demartini also points out, we grow on the border of chaos and order. Balancing that precariousness is vital to being able to withstand and move with, actually appreciate and take advantage of, inevitable change.
So how do you "roll with it" when you feel up against unsurmountable difficulties? First, start with what you know. I strongly believe in starting each day with a statement at least, preferably a fully expressed vision, of who you are ideally, what you would love to experience and how you would love to show up in the world. That is about what you aspire to, not a reiteration of what you are currently experiencing. Think big, think bold, expand your sense of what is possible.
Who would you love to be? What would you love to do? What would you love to have? These are quality questions that help you map out your life in a new and different way.
Waking up each day affirming who you are and what your higher purpose is informs your day and sets the tone for what happens. Isn't that a welcome change from wondering if you have the strength to get up and deal with all the demands others place on you? Or doing the same drudgery day after day? This actually puts you in the drivers seat in your mind, which translates to you directing your thoughts, thus how you manage your experiences each day.
Circling back to Darwin, this means you are centered within yourself, ready to respond to what comes at you rather than react, which puts you in the category of most responsive to change.
Isn't that the person you would love to be?
Friday, October 30, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Life Entrepreneurs and Social Action
Being inspired and called to action is vital to a Life Entrepreneur.
I just spent the last couple of days at the annual conference of Social Venture Partners International, held in Dallas. SVPI is the largest individual donor network in the US, with over 2000 partners committed to capacity building for non-profit organizations in 24 cities in the US, Canada and Japan, and is growing each year, adding more chapter affiliates. I would call each person I met a Life Entrepreneur, even if he or she isn't aware of being one.
These amazing people have carved out time in their lives to focus on using a combination of business skills, life skills and money to ensure that organizations in their communities are able to fulfill their missions. Each year a "grant cycle" is initiated, and local non-profits apply for "investee" status to gain the support of the SVP. Once that happens, we partners volunteer to work with them to help solve the internal problems that are keeping them from growth. I love this! I get to bring my coaching skills, my business acumen, and am welcomed with open arms by people who are prepared to accept the help we offer and actually do something with it! What a concept!
What inspired me about this conference is the variety of people I met, the wealth of experience they bring, and their willingness to share ideas, listen, and learn from each other. The value of belonging was clearly expressed: as individuals, we can do a little; as a group we become a foce of nature. We challenge each other along the way to bring our best to the table, to live up to our principles and continue to learn to work together.
So, after a little more than a year of being a member of the Dallas Social Venture Partners, I see even more reasons to stay involved, and do what it takes to make sure that our chapter fulfills its promise. As a Life Entrepreneur, I thrive on new opportunities, new challenges and making new friends along the way.
That's a lot to be grateful for!
I just spent the last couple of days at the annual conference of Social Venture Partners International, held in Dallas. SVPI is the largest individual donor network in the US, with over 2000 partners committed to capacity building for non-profit organizations in 24 cities in the US, Canada and Japan, and is growing each year, adding more chapter affiliates. I would call each person I met a Life Entrepreneur, even if he or she isn't aware of being one.
These amazing people have carved out time in their lives to focus on using a combination of business skills, life skills and money to ensure that organizations in their communities are able to fulfill their missions. Each year a "grant cycle" is initiated, and local non-profits apply for "investee" status to gain the support of the SVP. Once that happens, we partners volunteer to work with them to help solve the internal problems that are keeping them from growth. I love this! I get to bring my coaching skills, my business acumen, and am welcomed with open arms by people who are prepared to accept the help we offer and actually do something with it! What a concept!
What inspired me about this conference is the variety of people I met, the wealth of experience they bring, and their willingness to share ideas, listen, and learn from each other. The value of belonging was clearly expressed: as individuals, we can do a little; as a group we become a foce of nature. We challenge each other along the way to bring our best to the table, to live up to our principles and continue to learn to work together.
So, after a little more than a year of being a member of the Dallas Social Venture Partners, I see even more reasons to stay involved, and do what it takes to make sure that our chapter fulfills its promise. As a Life Entrepreneur, I thrive on new opportunities, new challenges and making new friends along the way.
That's a lot to be grateful for!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Risk of Being a Life Entrepreneur
I recently was reminded that great achievements involve great risks. So what really constitutes a great risk?
I'm thinking that it is anything that pushes us out of our comfort zones and requires extra effort to put into motion. That may seem too minor, but after working most of my life in personal development of one sort or another, I know how difficult it is for human beings to change the way they do things.
The other side of this is what constitutes a great achievement?
I am acutely aware that being in my sixties, I have a tendency to look back at my life and forward toward my future and question whether I have been or will be of any true value to my world. I can see that I was less conscious of this when I was younger, more focused on simply doing what I wanted to do. Was living my life from a self-directed place a great achievement? Does it matter if my name never appears in a history book, rather that I lived fully and touched peoples' lives in my own unique way? Who is the judge? Am I? Are you? Is there "someone" keeping the "permanent record" of our lives?
One great risk I took a couple of years ago was to sell my rep firm and stop having the identity I had lived with for 29 years. I didn't realize how big a change it was for a while after, as I was very caught up in a contract with a non-profit in NYC and stayed equally busy. When I ended that work, came back home and mainly focused on caring for my mother and doing my own work through PeopleBiz, I began to see how much that "business owner" identity had informed my life.
In a way I was "untethered" and a bit at loose ends. I began to question myself and my value. I'm still working on that, and it is part of what I am writing about in my series on being a Life Entrepreneur. This is my personal journey of forging new ground, finding what works and doesn't work for me, not fitting into anyone else's mold of what I'm meant to be.
This is the risk of finding out more about what I'm made of, how I truly want to live, and how that affects others in my world. It's scary. And from time to time, deeply fulfilling. It will be interesting to see what comes of it.
I'm thinking that it is anything that pushes us out of our comfort zones and requires extra effort to put into motion. That may seem too minor, but after working most of my life in personal development of one sort or another, I know how difficult it is for human beings to change the way they do things.
The other side of this is what constitutes a great achievement?
I am acutely aware that being in my sixties, I have a tendency to look back at my life and forward toward my future and question whether I have been or will be of any true value to my world. I can see that I was less conscious of this when I was younger, more focused on simply doing what I wanted to do. Was living my life from a self-directed place a great achievement? Does it matter if my name never appears in a history book, rather that I lived fully and touched peoples' lives in my own unique way? Who is the judge? Am I? Are you? Is there "someone" keeping the "permanent record" of our lives?
One great risk I took a couple of years ago was to sell my rep firm and stop having the identity I had lived with for 29 years. I didn't realize how big a change it was for a while after, as I was very caught up in a contract with a non-profit in NYC and stayed equally busy. When I ended that work, came back home and mainly focused on caring for my mother and doing my own work through PeopleBiz, I began to see how much that "business owner" identity had informed my life.
In a way I was "untethered" and a bit at loose ends. I began to question myself and my value. I'm still working on that, and it is part of what I am writing about in my series on being a Life Entrepreneur. This is my personal journey of forging new ground, finding what works and doesn't work for me, not fitting into anyone else's mold of what I'm meant to be.
This is the risk of finding out more about what I'm made of, how I truly want to live, and how that affects others in my world. It's scary. And from time to time, deeply fulfilling. It will be interesting to see what comes of it.
Friday, October 9, 2009
A Life Entrepreneur at 85
Last night I got a very excited phone message from my mother and when I called her back she said, "I just wanted to tell you my news! I've been elected unanimously to be the Chairman of the Residents' Council at Treemont (the retirement community she lives in)!"
She added that it meant a lot of responsibility and that she was going to ask another friend to be her secretary so they could keep track of all the things that needed to be taken care of. What was most important for me about this conversation was to hear the energy and purposefulness in her voice, and feel the enthusiasm she has about living up to this challenge.
I've mentioned before that my mom just turned 85. My dad passed away three years ago, and it took Mom a while to regroup, after having been with one person in a very involved, fulfilling relationship for over 62 years. She had many days of a sort of listlessness and I was concerned about her.
And now here she is, excited and committed and ready to work. Actually, she's been playing that role for a while, and the directors of the community had the good sense to give it a title by creating the Council, and giving her the proper recognition for the ways she has stepped up to participate in enhancing the lives of the other residents.
This is one of the best examples I can cite of being a Life Entrepreneur. It isn't about age, it is about purpose, focus and the willingness to do what it takes to live the way you choose to live. It also adds proof to my theory that our basic characters stay the same throughout our lives, what changes is how we perceive things and thus how we manage our lives based on those perceptions.
When my dad died, it was both a loss and a relief for my mom. He had been progressively sicker from cancer for the last five years, and Mom had taken the brunt of the care, only hiring round the clock help the last few months. She was exhausted and disoriented to not have her life consumed by caring for her husband.
That first year she sort of muddled through, even went on a cruise with some friends, but found that she didn't feel that connected to them, and started having medical issues and going from doctor to doctor to figure things out. She took a downturn at the end of the first year and almost died from a devastating illness. We spent the next 6 months bringing her back to life, and after learning to talk, walk, eat and think for herself again, she moved into the community of other seniors (after living in my house for over five months, we both decided we preferred our independence).
It took a year for her to get comfortable there--and I so admired her willingness to organize and join up with bridge groups, learn to play word games, participate in the choir, volunteer to help the new activities director welcome new residents and decorate for the weekly parties they have to keep people interested and involved. My mom is a trooper, and her enthusiasm proved contageous.
So here she is, a Life Entrepreneur at 85, carving out her path and looking forward to each day. What an inspiration!
She added that it meant a lot of responsibility and that she was going to ask another friend to be her secretary so they could keep track of all the things that needed to be taken care of. What was most important for me about this conversation was to hear the energy and purposefulness in her voice, and feel the enthusiasm she has about living up to this challenge.
I've mentioned before that my mom just turned 85. My dad passed away three years ago, and it took Mom a while to regroup, after having been with one person in a very involved, fulfilling relationship for over 62 years. She had many days of a sort of listlessness and I was concerned about her.
And now here she is, excited and committed and ready to work. Actually, she's been playing that role for a while, and the directors of the community had the good sense to give it a title by creating the Council, and giving her the proper recognition for the ways she has stepped up to participate in enhancing the lives of the other residents.
This is one of the best examples I can cite of being a Life Entrepreneur. It isn't about age, it is about purpose, focus and the willingness to do what it takes to live the way you choose to live. It also adds proof to my theory that our basic characters stay the same throughout our lives, what changes is how we perceive things and thus how we manage our lives based on those perceptions.
When my dad died, it was both a loss and a relief for my mom. He had been progressively sicker from cancer for the last five years, and Mom had taken the brunt of the care, only hiring round the clock help the last few months. She was exhausted and disoriented to not have her life consumed by caring for her husband.
That first year she sort of muddled through, even went on a cruise with some friends, but found that she didn't feel that connected to them, and started having medical issues and going from doctor to doctor to figure things out. She took a downturn at the end of the first year and almost died from a devastating illness. We spent the next 6 months bringing her back to life, and after learning to talk, walk, eat and think for herself again, she moved into the community of other seniors (after living in my house for over five months, we both decided we preferred our independence).
It took a year for her to get comfortable there--and I so admired her willingness to organize and join up with bridge groups, learn to play word games, participate in the choir, volunteer to help the new activities director welcome new residents and decorate for the weekly parties they have to keep people interested and involved. My mom is a trooper, and her enthusiasm proved contageous.
So here she is, a Life Entrepreneur at 85, carving out her path and looking forward to each day. What an inspiration!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The Greatest Gift You Can Offer
Why is it so difficult to relate to people when they are going through difficult times? This is a dillemma we have all faced at one time or another, and yet none of us seem to have a clear idea of what to do about it.
We don't know what to say when someone dies. We feel awkward and out of place. We tend to avoid people when we feel this way--but the problem is they most need our support at that moment and often can't even find a way to tell us. It is similar when someone we know is dealing with a serious, perhaps terminal disease. We can hardly look them in the eye..... We think about calling but we don't get around to it. We make up a story that calling isn't enough, or stopping by to visit won't really matter that much.
I'm wondering if it stems from that basic sense of fear that we all have to one degree or another as humans, the fear that we aren't that important, and what we do doesn't actually mean much to others. Some little part of all of us is afraid that no matter what we do, it won't really make a difference.
Maybe it is because I've been through so many difficulties, especially over the last several months, but I want to encourage you to break through your fear and just go spend time with that person. It has meant so much for me to just be with my friends and family. What we say isn't really important, the being there is.
Please don't underestimate the value of the greatest gift you can offer another person: your time and your attention. Isn't that what we remember most from our childhood? People who showed us they cared by taking time to be with us?
Your presence is a present.
We don't know what to say when someone dies. We feel awkward and out of place. We tend to avoid people when we feel this way--but the problem is they most need our support at that moment and often can't even find a way to tell us. It is similar when someone we know is dealing with a serious, perhaps terminal disease. We can hardly look them in the eye..... We think about calling but we don't get around to it. We make up a story that calling isn't enough, or stopping by to visit won't really matter that much.
I'm wondering if it stems from that basic sense of fear that we all have to one degree or another as humans, the fear that we aren't that important, and what we do doesn't actually mean much to others. Some little part of all of us is afraid that no matter what we do, it won't really make a difference.
Maybe it is because I've been through so many difficulties, especially over the last several months, but I want to encourage you to break through your fear and just go spend time with that person. It has meant so much for me to just be with my friends and family. What we say isn't really important, the being there is.
Please don't underestimate the value of the greatest gift you can offer another person: your time and your attention. Isn't that what we remember most from our childhood? People who showed us they cared by taking time to be with us?
Your presence is a present.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
What does it mean to be a Life Entrepreneur?
I have often related a theory about the decades in our lives: In our twenties, we try to figure out who we are; in our thirties, we work really hard to build our careers and fit into society (this is maximum people-pleasing time); we turn forty and we start to wonder what it is all about, and if we really want to do this for the rest of our lives. At that point, the questions start to become at least as important as the answers. This is a decade of re-thinking, re-evaluating, and we start to realize around forty-five that it isn't so important whether people like us, it is more important that we like ourselves. At fifty, we question whether we even like them (!), and how they fit into our lives, and start getting much more serious about how we live and with whom. At fifty-five and beyond, we care less about what others think at all and set about truly creating the life we would love to live.
These periods are not actually set in stone, just markers, because I have seen people move through them faster, based on the amount of self-work they are willing to do. I've had clients in their thirties who were already well into the re-thinking and re-evaluating period, and some in their fifties who were just discovering that they had choices about how to live. The point of this is that self-awareness is a process and the more aware we are, the more effectively we can move through the process.
So, being a Life Entreprenuer means consciously creating as we go. My tag line, Master the Business of Life actually expresses the essence of this: my primary business is the business of being Margery Miller, and the amount of time, energy, effort and strategic thinking I apply to that endeavor determines my success ratio. If I walk around waiting for something to happen to me, if I worry about whether people like me, if I focus on what I don't want instead of what I would love to experience--those are all ways that I could thwart my success as a Life Entrepreneur.
It means that in order to have a fulfilling life, I pay attention to all seven areas, Spiritual, Mental, Vocational, Financial, Familial, Social and Physical, and create my life with a goal of empowering ALL seven areas, not just suceeding at being a consultant, or coach, or making a lot of money, or having certain kinds of relationships. The Demartini work focuses on breaking down the myths we carry in all aspects of our lives--not just the ones we think are most important at any moment.
I believe that being a Life Entrepreneur opens up myriad possibilities of how to get the most out of what is called the second half of life. We have a lot of years ahead and "retirement" just isn't attractive or even now possible for a majority of people. So what do we do?
We can appreciate the synchonicity of having a global economic collapse occur at the same time a vast number of people on the planet wake up and realize there has to be more to life than getting by or making it through the day, or stepping on and abusing others to fulfill the hubris of greed and power. We can thank technology and the internet for creating a global consciousness--and connecting people who may never meet but who are starting to think differently by being aware of each others' existence.
We can start designing our lives and adapting to the constant changing world we live in by understanding that living life fully is an inside job.
To be continued..............
These periods are not actually set in stone, just markers, because I have seen people move through them faster, based on the amount of self-work they are willing to do. I've had clients in their thirties who were already well into the re-thinking and re-evaluating period, and some in their fifties who were just discovering that they had choices about how to live. The point of this is that self-awareness is a process and the more aware we are, the more effectively we can move through the process.
So, being a Life Entreprenuer means consciously creating as we go. My tag line, Master the Business of Life actually expresses the essence of this: my primary business is the business of being Margery Miller, and the amount of time, energy, effort and strategic thinking I apply to that endeavor determines my success ratio. If I walk around waiting for something to happen to me, if I worry about whether people like me, if I focus on what I don't want instead of what I would love to experience--those are all ways that I could thwart my success as a Life Entrepreneur.
It means that in order to have a fulfilling life, I pay attention to all seven areas, Spiritual, Mental, Vocational, Financial, Familial, Social and Physical, and create my life with a goal of empowering ALL seven areas, not just suceeding at being a consultant, or coach, or making a lot of money, or having certain kinds of relationships. The Demartini work focuses on breaking down the myths we carry in all aspects of our lives--not just the ones we think are most important at any moment.
I believe that being a Life Entrepreneur opens up myriad possibilities of how to get the most out of what is called the second half of life. We have a lot of years ahead and "retirement" just isn't attractive or even now possible for a majority of people. So what do we do?
We can appreciate the synchonicity of having a global economic collapse occur at the same time a vast number of people on the planet wake up and realize there has to be more to life than getting by or making it through the day, or stepping on and abusing others to fulfill the hubris of greed and power. We can thank technology and the internet for creating a global consciousness--and connecting people who may never meet but who are starting to think differently by being aware of each others' existence.
We can start designing our lives and adapting to the constant changing world we live in by understanding that living life fully is an inside job.
To be continued..............
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