I've been doing some work with one of the businesses I am invested in to help them strengthen their infrastructure and improve customer service. And I have found it a bit frustrating. I hear myself asking, to myself, "why can't people ________?" I'm sure you could easily fill in the blank, since all of us have expectations of others that don't seem to be met!
Why can't they follow-up and let people know what is happening? Why can't they make sure that all parties are given the pertinent information they need to make decisions? Why can't they do it right the first time instead of letting the situation reach a point of all out frustration from all sides?
Why can't they ask enough or the right questions to be able to come up with a strategy that works? Why can't they quit complaining and just do the work? Why can't they act like grown-ups and have the same work ethic I do?????
And from all my years of training, I immediately see that the most important person I need to be asking those questions to is, me! So, I'm asking myself, where do I drop the ball? Why do I still have difficulty communicating and getting what I want from others? Where have I not informed people about things they need to know? What information do I not have that I need?
What can I do to transform this feeling of frustration into something else? Writing about it may help. I'm thinking some contemplation of this will help. More later.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Back to Work!
After taking most of the last year to take care of my mom and winding down from spending so much time in the previous years working and traveling, I opened up the space to start working again and felt a whoosh of energy both inside and out! It is fun to feel so productive and be busy, but I am being careful to notice when I am overloading myself.
It reminds me of studying Angeles Arrien's The Four-Fold Way years ago. She wrote about the four addictions: 1) the addiction to intensity; 2) the addiciton to perfection; 3) the addiction to the need to know; and 4) the addiction to being fixated on what's not working rather than what is working.
When I first read the book, I spent a lot of time looking at my life and how I was acting out the four addictions--and I've attempted to pay attention since then (15 years now), but I'm now seeing how easy it is to rev up the engine and just forge ahead and suddenly realize that I'm getting caught up in them again!
One of the ways I am intense is by trying to fit too many things into one day and not take time out just to be here. I was getting really good at that over the last year, so I don't want to forget about it!
I show the perfection addiction when I keep going longer than necessary--at my emails, in conversations, in completing things all in one day. I seem to forget I have time, and that some things actually can wait until tomorrow!
I get hung up on needing to know when I start pushing my take on things instead of waiting, listening and seeing what is actually going on around me. Sometimes I am pretty sure I know what is happening and I'm completely wrong!
And sometimes I get frustrated with people not doing what I want them to do, so focus on that, instead of all the ways they are doing just great.
So, thank you Angeles Arrien, for still being a beacon of light and learning in my life after all these years. I'm so grateful I can see how much more I can learn and be aware of!
It reminds me of studying Angeles Arrien's The Four-Fold Way years ago. She wrote about the four addictions: 1) the addiction to intensity; 2) the addiciton to perfection; 3) the addiction to the need to know; and 4) the addiction to being fixated on what's not working rather than what is working.
When I first read the book, I spent a lot of time looking at my life and how I was acting out the four addictions--and I've attempted to pay attention since then (15 years now), but I'm now seeing how easy it is to rev up the engine and just forge ahead and suddenly realize that I'm getting caught up in them again!
One of the ways I am intense is by trying to fit too many things into one day and not take time out just to be here. I was getting really good at that over the last year, so I don't want to forget about it!
I show the perfection addiction when I keep going longer than necessary--at my emails, in conversations, in completing things all in one day. I seem to forget I have time, and that some things actually can wait until tomorrow!
I get hung up on needing to know when I start pushing my take on things instead of waiting, listening and seeing what is actually going on around me. Sometimes I am pretty sure I know what is happening and I'm completely wrong!
And sometimes I get frustrated with people not doing what I want them to do, so focus on that, instead of all the ways they are doing just great.
So, thank you Angeles Arrien, for still being a beacon of light and learning in my life after all these years. I'm so grateful I can see how much more I can learn and be aware of!
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